woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize