Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
even my farts smell like vagina
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
