thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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