I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
