yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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