im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
