dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
my poor anus
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