Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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