i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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