Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
