i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Everything about him screamed your future.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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