I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
