If that was your dad, he is hot
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
