I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
