i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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