Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
