thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
