Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
