dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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