After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
