Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
