I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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