definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
