9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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