He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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