Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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