conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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