I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
