Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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