my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
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