It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
