New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
