North Korea, Best Korea!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
