i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
