i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
