Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize