How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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