im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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