Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
