is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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