theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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