how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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