just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
