I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
