I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
