I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
