we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize