so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
