I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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