we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
