hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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