you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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