i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
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