She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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