Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
