he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
