i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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