i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize