I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i think my cat just said my name.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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