i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
