I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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