what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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