Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
