Three words: puerto rican gang bang
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
