There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize