Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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